Put The Jar Down!!!





My son has a theory. This theory involves a jar of human excrement.

He calls it The Shit Jar.

That is the last time I will type that sentence. Henceforth, we will call it The Jar.

Now, in his theory, we carry around The Jar for every single person we know. The size of The Jar is in direct relationship to the length of time we have known them, OR how close they have become to us. The people in our lives naturally put excrement in our Jar, and in return we put excrement in theirs. If we have known them a very little time, and they have filled the jar up beyond capacity, with it overflowing like a rain barrel in monsoon season: YOU MUST PUT IT BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND WALK AWAY.

These are his exact words.

Now that’s not too difficult a concept. Right?

Well. the difficulty starts when you have those long-term relationships, or the ones that are so close to the  heart they make it ache with a single sigh. Those are the ones that you allow to  put crap in The Jar,  as long as they take some out. Put it in. Take it out. You get the idea.

The successful relationship is one that obviously takes out more than is put in. Sometimes the best you get is a full Jar. You know, it’s always level, never overflowing , and leaving your hands mostly tidy. But even with the ones you love the most, those that you have been side by side for as long as you can remember, if the jar is overflowing with a stinking rotted feted blob of poo:


Someday I tell the tale of how this all came about. It started out as a cute metaphor, but in the end it added up to wisdom on the part of a twenty-something man.


Oh, and don’t turn around to look at it. If it hasn’t turned into potpourri by now, it more than likely won’t.




2 Comments on “Put The Jar Down!!!

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