It’s crystal clear. After weeks and weeks of pondering I now understand what the thing is. 
You know the thing. It’s the what you “ did our own of ” in the 70’s. It’s what’s sitting on the table next to your notebook,
It’s the Thing.
It’s something, it’s nothing. It’s anything, and it’s scathing.
It’s bequeathing and betrothing clothing that is soothing. It’s when you’re writhing and seething 
and frothing from everything.
Badmouthing a plaything that’s loathing it’s value of a farthing. Smoothing and soothing and teething and tithing for the privilege of girthing before berthing.
It’s breathing, and bathing, and mouthing nothingness. It’s sheathing and wreathing, it’s unsheathing and unwreathing.
It’s the thing.
Are you the same Laura Martin that graduated from Willow River High School in 1975?
Yes I am. I remember you. Hi Cheryl.
“Things” by Bobby Darin. Now I know what song to play for you on the air.
I always loved that song. Maybe I was channeling Bobby. I hope so.